I Weigh More Than Your Opinion of Me

I hate reading cliched stuff.

Like body positivity and body shaming.

Probably because it didn't really matter to me.

Honestly: SDG#2 Zero Hunger seems more important than eating disorders.

So I never imagined that I'd write about my weight.

But well yes I am.

I write about things that I feel very strongly about.

And off-late, some comments on my weight have really tipped the scale.

"She is just skin and bones."

That's not a new insult. Thin people hear it half-a-dozen times a week and I don't even mind it.

But when idiots decide to call you weak just because the Earth doesn't pull you with as much force towards its centre as them, I go ballistic.

Savage comebacks don't work with me and I'm not intrinsically mean enough to make a stinging retort.

About me (in this context): If you've seen me, you know that I'm thin. And I am taller than the average Indian female so that might also add to me looking leaner than I am.

Am I worried about my weight or the way I look? Nope.

Why? Because I know that I am healthy. I can confidently say that I understand my body and almost always figure out when something is off.

"Do you even eat?"

I was sitting and reading something on the bus when the lady standing next to me asked so. What does she mean?

I said yes, "Of course, I eat."

"You are too thin, you should eat apart from studying," she said.

"I stay thin despite eating a lot," I said with a grinding smile.

What she said would have made sense if:

• I was not able to do normal physical tasks properly.
• I was a perpetual motion machine (which doesn't exist).
• She wasn't the one not able to balance herself in a moving bus and had to put her handbag and half her body-weight on me.

See, I accept that I am not the healthiest version of myself - yet. But I have no trouble doing jobs that actually require energy and many people feel lazy to do.

For instance, I walk quite a distance everyday carrying a bag that weighs as much as battle-load. And sometimes I add formidable library books to the load (check out James Stewart's Calculus). My lunch box itself is a heavy affair, I can seriously feel that my bag is a little bit lighter on my way back home. I love cycling and I'm unfazed by pillion riders. I don't mind the running and the exercises during PT and I give the least trouble to people in a crowded bus. And I'm pretty sure that I'll get stronger once I resume yoga.

So I don't fricking understand how me being thin means me being frail!

It's not like I'm thin because I eat less too. I hate wasting my food and I eat everything on my plate. And I'm one of those people who has a hungry hippo in the tummy.

Works for some people that way: my parents were thin when they were my age and so were my grandparents. So you can call it a problem if I was fat, not thin! I'm metabolically gifted, fyi.

My maternal grandparents<3 Ammachi actually had Amma in her tummy when this photo was clicked!

I honestly don't give a damn when someone calls me skinny. I might have gotten a little bit hardened over time too.

But saying that I can't do something or that I need to eat more just to do that thing has gone a tad bit too far. Both those comments above were hurled at me in a single week when I had twenty other things to worry about and that triggered me.

For me being healthy is paramount. Doesn't matter whether I'm thin or fat as long as I can do the things I want to do.

So the next time you call me a bag of bones, you may duly call yourself a burden on Earth.