Invisible but Invincible
A Woman's Life on Women's Day
This lady is Kathammal. She lives in Kunnarampatti, a village near Madurai.
She refers to herself as kelavi, which means old woman in Tamil. But if you ask her how old she is, she'd answer with an unassuming grin - 47.
She most probably does not know that it is Women's Day today.
But she is one of the strongest women I know.
Her voice is animated but strong. And her laughter is infectious.
She has been working in the farm for years now, earning ₹100 to ₹150 a day by cutting fodder, feeding cows, goats and chickens, piling cow dung and carrying it to the pit and sweeping goat droppings.
My guess is that she is certainly above 70.
She owns some land and has a cow and some goats.
Life hasn't been easy on Kathammal kelavi. Things have been more heart-breaking than back-breaking for her.
Her husband left her and went for another woman. He still lives in the same village but Kathammal won't even look at him.
She had three sons - a blessing most would say. All of them are dead. One, very long ago and another in a road accident. The last son was an alcoholic who was detained by the police over ego issues. The flogging took a toll on him and he passed away in 2019.
He left behind a wife, a son and a daughter. Kathammal does her best to spearhead the family. She squabbles with her daughter-in-law sometimes, but managed to overcome the death of her son.
Her motto is to work, work hard, earn and save.
She is known for keeping the farm where she works very clean. She also knows to make brooms from coconut leaves.
Although illiterate, she is good at calculations (once she tested me on purpose). Her take on financial matters is admirable - she believes in accumulating assets little by little. She wears her studded nose-ring and earrings with pride.
She is a tall woman, looking tall even in old age. She never bends. Her realisation of self-respect and self-worth is inspiring.
She is beautiful too. Self-love and self-care feature high on her to-do list. Coconut oil is her go-to moisturiser. Her hair is always in a slightly careless bun, or something awesome like this.
In fact, I don't argue with her when she lectures me on growing my hair long and combing out the curls, even though I'm against it. You just can't speak against her as her hair is so lovely!
Last month though, she sacrificed her hair for the village goddess, Mandhaiamman. The winter months make her weak and the last winter proved a bit too tough for her. So she struck a deal with the goddess and fulfilled it during the annual tiruvizha (festival).
She can't hear everything you say. You literally have to go close to her and yell, gesticulating.
But all your crazy screaming and arm-waving will be rewarded with a wide grin. This means that now she is paying attention to you and you can repeat all that you shouted earlier less loudly.
If you're holding a camera, she'll say, "Apathava oru padam pudi," (take a picture of granny) and assume a solemn pose after adjusting her cotton sari. Although she is always smiling, she somehow becomes serious for a photo.
Once, she mistook my binoculars for a camera and posed for a photo! After I explained its purpose to her, she was amazed at how close the cows grazing about a hundred metres away seemed to be.
Kathammal is a thoughtful, independent woman. She wants to see her two grandchildren succeed in life, but doesn't want to be a burden on them.
So, she has handed over a few thousand rupees she saved to a local retired schoolteacher, for conducting customary rituals after her death.
She doesn't have a phone, she knows only Tamil, has barely stepped out of the district and wouldn't agree that life is a bed of roses. And she certainly doesn't know that there's something called Women's Day.
But a strong woman she is.
